one more step... to growing up!

Often times throughout my life I have found moments that I feel like I have to be very grown-up. Some of these moments seem perfectly natual, some caused by unwelcome outside forces in which I feel that I am in a helpless situation and I can either grow up and bear it... or take it like a child and just simply curl up on the floor and cry. I am an adult and want to be able to handle whatever situation "like a big girl" but at times this seems like an all too difficult task.

Well, once again God and life are presenting me with a chance to step out on my own and be a grown-up... My older sister Lysha and my brother-in-law Christopher have lived in about ten minutes away from me for the last couple of years...Lysha and I are really close… so it’s been great! We see each other when we want and we are always there when we need someone who really understands us...we defiantly have our own lives but we are a part of each other's.

Within this last month or so both of our lives have been changed. On July 16th Lysha gave birth to my beautiful niece Zoey Kay. She is a beautiful joy and I am so happy to be a part of her life. However a small hitch... Lysha and Chris have been wanting to move to Rapid City, SD (the town Lysha and I spent a good portion of childhood in) and now God has made a way...Lysha got a job as a 3rd and 4th grade teacher at the private school in our home church...my mom is a teacher there and both my little sisters attend. It's a great job and a great opportunity for Lysha. Plus they will be close to our parents... Chris's parents are even talking about moving out here to be close to them...I think this really is a God thing and I am so excited about the possibilities for them.

I can't help feeling sad that I can't see them whenever I want. Now every time I see my niece she will have grown a lot and she may not even recognize me!! Since I moved to Eugene, Lysha and Chris's has been my refuge...the place I go when I feel like I can't handle things or I just need to chill out! That place is now gone!

On the other hand this is it... I am a young woman on my own… independent of legal family ties and no immediate family to look over my shoulder.

I can't help feeling like a small child that longs and loves the independence given her however when the going gets tough, there is nothing more that I want to do then run to my big sis or mom and get some good advice!! My family has always been super close and now I feel so separated!

I know this is going to be really hard! And I know that with God's help I will be ok! I have amazing friends and extended family that are so supportive...thank God!!!

Dear Jesus,

Once again I am placing myself in your hands! I trust you! Help me in my own weakness! Let me find comfort when I am lonely and refuge in your love and peace! Thank you for all that you are and for what you are doing in my life and the lives of my family members!! I love you!!

Amen

Zoey Kay Doss taken by Seth Magee