I Will BE.... OK

I will be ok! When crazy things happen in my life that is what I always say.. I will be ok! But rarely am I actually ok with what is happening to me!! What am I supposed to do.... sit in a corner and cry... even if I want to and probably could! No actually I don't know if I could... I find myself crying a lot less these days.... there gets to be a point in life that you are just so beat and or sick of being beaten on that you stop crying! At this moment I don't have time to cry... or even to contemplate what I could do to really help... I just have to keep going! One day at a time!!!! I have to get things done! I have to wake up and stay awake(that's harder than it sounds)! I have to clean my house! I have to do my homework! I have to go to rehearsals...and memorize all that stuff!!! Dance steps, lines, blocking... other people's dance steps, blocking....lyrics, lines! Oh and more dance steps!! I have to get to a point that a plant will stay alive in  my room again! I have to turn in a paper on time... at least once this semester! I have to remember why i'm in Colorado! I have to gracefully deal with the people in my life that I love and or think that I love! I HAVE to BE!!! I have to live! And at this point the only way I'm going to do that is to go DAY BY DAY!!!!