This is why I'm in China!

There are a lot of things that I could say about China... This has been one of the most difficult places that I have lived in my life! However, my thought and purpose when I first came here was to take some time, discover a new culture that I knew nothing about, look a little deeper into my life and generally improve my perspective of my position in this world! I love kids and I love working with kids! And frankly that is really the only thing I consistently love about teaching! The paper work is crazy, the politics are ridiculous, the parents are insane, the management is... well not nice words! But these KIDS!!! All it takes is one running up to me for a hug, their snuggles and sleepy smiles after naptime, their kisses, when they pull on me every which way to play with them and begging me to come home with them! I love my kids! We tell them that they are the future leaders of the world...but really what I care about is that they will bring kindness, love, empathy and joy into the world! I'm honored to be a part of that!

 

My Arthur



Durwin...I can barely get this kid to sit down... he just wants to sit and cuddle me!



Amanda! Beautifully happy and a roller-coaster of emotion!



Chris... My little heart breaker!



The Mighty Zeus!!! Sweet, sensitive and strong!



Lucy, Michael and Fred!!! Crazy delinquents!



Betty... Need I say more!



Tina... :)



King... Tons of trouble! <3 td="">



Ryan... the squirrely one!



Ninjas!

Ready or Not, Here I Come...

So this is it... My crazy and grand summer is over and I am off! I will try to give updates post pics and send lots a love your way! Please feel free to private message me here, comment or email me at singinkal13@gmail.com ! My Skype name is singinkaligal ... If you are in CO I am 14hrs ahead of you! 

Please also be aware that if you do corespondent with me... I am a guest in a country that has very different belifs than I hold personally... Please be carful as to the language to use in messages and emails as it could reflect on me... If you have questions about this talk to any of my family members and they will explain further!

Thank you for all supporting me in this grand adventure! 

Kaliyah 

My Life in Song! The Songs of My Life!

I have always wished that my life was a musical, but here is what it would look like if it was… These are songs that inspire/describe/tear me apart and dissect my soul!

His Eye is on the Sparrow: Sung by Lauryn Hill andTanya Blount

This song is not only my favorite Hymn but along with several little girls in the 90s I LOVED the Sister Act movies!! My sister and I used to watch this with one of our friends and we would always have specific songs that we were better at singing… This was one of mine. Later in my life when I was a music major and really trying to figure out my reasons for singing and why I felt like that was an important thing in my life, I sang this song. I realized that singing was literally a reflex for me, it was how I worship how I understand life and how I best communicate.

I So Hate Consequences: By Reliant K
Most of my high school years are marked with Reliant K songs. And yes they have some really hilarious and pithy songs that will stay with all of us… but have you listened to the lyrics? They are complex and hard hitting!!! This is one of those songs that always kicked my butt!!

Your Love Broke Through: By Keith Green      This is one of those songs… I remember discovering this song because it was on Rebecca St James' greatest hits album…She sang it with Phil Keaggy…another one of my favorite artists… And my mom told me how it was the song she listened to over and over when she received Christ in college. I think I put it on repeat and listed to nothing else for like a week! Its one of the only songs that I think explains how I feel about what Jesus did for me!

Wie Melodien Zieht es Mir: By Johannes Brahms and Sung by Edith Wiens
This one may seem strange for many…The first time I sung this piece was my Junior year of high school… I sang it for Solo and Ensemble Competition and then at my All-State Honor Choir Audition! I remember that audition very vividly, I was so nervous, but I started singing and the judge just stopped writing and leaned forward in his chair and listened to me so intently. Right then and there I knew that is what I wanted to do…. I wanted to bring that kind of joy to people's faces. Its such a beautiful piece and the lyrics talk about how music haunts our soul! I have used this piece for every major classical audition! It reminds me why I love singing

This Side: By Nickel Creek

This song is from my favorite band and I just feel like it describes me and who I want to be…It's a song about looking at life differently and finding wonder in the world! Here's one of my favorite lyrics!

"You dream of colors that have never been made,
You imagine songs that have never been played.
They will try to buy you and your mind.
Only the curious have something to find."

Hoppipolla: By Sigur Ros
If you don't know Sigur Ros… LISTEN TO THIS SONG… and then GO LISTEN TO MORE!!!! Their video project is AMAZING!!!

This song is about jumping into puddles in your bare feet!!!….Its beautiful!! And it puts my view of life in to one song…life is short, love is lasting, God is good and everyone should realize their worth..and how small they are…let yourself be loved, let yourself live and let God be bigger than you!!! Go play in the rain!!!!!!



"Hello, Young Lovers" From the King and I By Rogers and Hamerstein
This was one of the first songs I sang at the University of Oregon for an Opera Workshop Class… I really didn't know much opera yet and wanted to sing some lighter classical musical theatre… I got up to sing and my Prof. proceeded to go off on how he did not think that this was an appropriate song for an 18 year old to sing and was not a fan… I was mortified and so scared… but I was determined to sing my heart out and prove that I should be there…I sang the song and the first thing out of my Professor's mouth was "I stand corrected…That was beautiful!" The role of Anna is been a life long dream for me…I am very drawn to stories of lost love and stories of unrequited love. And this song is one of the most beautiful moments of musical theatre expressing the contentment of life and love lost! For me I have not had that love yet… but it is my hope but I know that I am content with what God has given me …even if I have not fully experienced that greatness of love in my life YET!

"The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson

This is one of those songs that currently I have very mixed feelings about…. When it first came out and before anyone knew who this Ingrid Michelson chick was…. I was obsessed…I listened to it over and over to memorize it and it was what I saw as how I wanted someone to love me…. I wanted someone to love me the way I am… with all the crazy still attached! In this last year I very briefly dated a man who really made me feel accepted and that he loved all of me, all my crazy and he was very encouraging to everything I was and wanted to be…. Besides the fact that he always called me "Baby"… I always thought that a strange term of endearment… but when he said it…. It was adorable and I loved that he was so protective and he fawned over me… WELL…..This was kind of the "our song" … he didn't know it before but he always asked me to sing…and I used to always sing it to him! 

LO AND BEHOLD… we broke up… and he ended up kinda being a JERK!!!! So there is that…. This song is still a little painful… but it still describes that moment when you think that you have found someone that really does get you…. Weird terms of endearment are suddenly heart melting and the most wonderful part of your day…. That person accepts the crazy that is you!!!!

 

I'm moving to China… NOT REALLY… But maybe...

Seriously though…I may be moving to China! I'm interviewing with a school for a job teaching English in Beijing. It sounds kinda crazy but I like the idea of taking a year of my life and just going someplace I know very little about… I never had NEED to go to this place but I find it beautiful and intriguing. I like the possibility of something so different that every aspect of my life will be challenged. I know that one year is a long time and YES I would get very homesick!! But really, I don't have a home quite yet… I'm trying to figure out where I want home to be! So all in all… pray for me in this decision and interview… if this is what God has for me then here goes!!!

The Goodness in Death

Have you ever just sat and thought about how present death is in our lives? I'm not meaning to be supper morbid, but truly… Death is everywhere and is an essential part of life! There is even life that comes from death… I know we don't like to think about it… but I get life/nutrition/wellness from a cow/chicken/fish that is dead! Forest fires are always unfortunate but are an essential part of the ecosystem, from the fire new life and the health of the forest is renewed.

Even in the more abstract and existential way of thought… death is eternal separation… I will eternally be separated from being a child, I will never be in high school again(thank God) that part of my life is dead and over to me! I had relationships that truly died!… They will never be the same I am a different person and I will probably never even speak to them again.

 But in that… these "deaths" always brought the opportunity for newness. They brought room in my life for something different, something I did not plan and some of the greatest experiences of my life. At this time when I feel like everything is changing and my life is dying and taking new shape I think…Wait three days!! See what happens!!!!


3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead


~I Peter 1:3(NASB)


8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, 9 knowing that Christ, having been raised from the dead, is never to die again; death no longer is master over Him. 10 For the death that He died, He died to sin once for all; but the life that He lives, He lives to God. 11 Even so consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.


~Romans 6:8-11(NASB)

The End and the Beginning...

Ever since spring break I can now feel the impending loom of Graduation! Don't get me wrong… I am ecstatic and so very ready to be down with my undergrad! But there is that anxiety that comes over you. I have been applying for at least 3 jobs a week, beefing up my resume, getting new head shots and looking at apartments! BUT on top of that there is also that thing called school that I still have to attend and attempt to get decent grades! Even at this very moment I am avoiding homework…well it is Friday afternoon and it is my blogging time! That is besides the point… HOMEWORK is ruining my life!!!
On a slightly happier note… Hey World, I'm graduating…PLEASE GIVE ME A JOB!! now its like everything has potential. You know when you are a kid and everyone asks you what you are going to be when you grow up, well now that time is upon me and there are so many possibilities, even with my crazy degree! Every choice is a part of the adventure! Life is a choose your own adventure book!

new HOPES, new DREAMS and NO looking BACK!!

With the New Year everyone talks about their new years "resolutions"…but really I it's always hard for me to set them at in January! So I have I found that what works for me is….

January: Birthday month!! Holiday recovery and reset!! I usually do some kind of cleanse but my birthday is in the middle of the month so I am nice to my body!…I treat myself but in reasonable ways!

February: Is TRY to get serious month!!! However with Valentine's Day in the middle of that month… I end up beating myself up about why I'm not with anyone and I find motivation from depression and self loathing! NOT HEALTHY!

March and April are different for me! In the last few years I began practicing Lent! No I'm not Catholic but for me it is a great time of reexamination! I try to figure out what materialistic thing is occupying my thoughts and worries and give that to God for 40 days! I've done things like carbs, gluten, hair products, meat…to name a few! Aways something that actually had an effect on my everyday life and something I had to work at not focusing on! 

This is also the time of year that I try to pick a way to era the Bible! This time is an audio version! As fast as possible!!!! I'm on a 90 day plan but it will probably be closer to 120days! Its like bathing in a waterfall of Bible!!! It's actually a little overwhelming and puts into perspective the vastness of this work!

This Lent has been filled with crazy feelings and emotions! I am graduating from college this year and new things are opening up and old things are closing in my face. I am defiantly figuring more and more out about myself and what I really want day by day! But I also feel like I just keep finding things that need to be done or things that I have to wait for to happen till I graduate, so graduation is going to feel like this rush of overwhelming craziness! I am taken care of for the summer… but come august what then? I have plans… but it feels like I could do anything or nothing!

In the next year… I NEED TOO...
I need to move!
I need to get a car!!
I need a more permanent job!
I need to figure out where I want to live!
I need to get out of the Country!
I need to read books…because I want to!
I need to have a plants growing in my room or around me!
I need to loose all the weight!!!!!!
     Jessie, I still am holding to the promise that I will get my belly-button pierced!!!!
I need to get at least one professional theatre/opera/modeling gig!
I need to set a five yr finical plan!
I need to swim more!
I need to dance more!

Ink my body! Color my life!

In the past 3 months I have gotten my first tattoos! Its been kinda crazy process...debates about tattoos are old news but it was still a thing for me. I mainly didn't want to disappoint my parents or make people think that I was being rebellious. After everything that I went through in the last couple of years... I thought more and more about it...and here we are. I've thought about what I wanted and I have a few ideas of big pieces I want... but for what I was going through and my first tattoo I had to really think. As many of you know I am a totally literary nerd. Peter Pan is my favorite book and childhood story...J.M.Barrie is one of my favorite authors and to this day I dream of flying with Peter Pan. So I got the quote "To live will be an awfully big adventure" in J.M.Barrie's handwriting! For me this is just what it says... Life, for me is the biggest adventure, and my life has been my fantasy, my own fairytale and living my life to the fullest. I never want to grow up, I never want to be complacent, I never want to continue to reaching for the stars!

Last week I was in Hollywood with one of my bestest friends in the world, Rachel. I was finally taking a spring break...its been a crazy semester and it is my last... so getting out of town was just what I needed! I was very ready for my next tattoo...once again I just didn't know which piece I wanted and could afford. So I thought about getting something small on a whim... just to do it. So at midnight in Hollywood at midnight I signed the papers!!! I got a Bass Clef on my left shoulder! I have played the cello since I was 5 years old. It has been a great part of me, it has been though everything with me. It has been one of my greatest joys as an artist and one of my great pains, artistically and physically. There was one semester my freshman year of college that my shoulder flared up and by order of the doctor couldn't play for weeks! At the time it was a bit of a relief because of all the pressure I felt about my playing. But just having that gone from my life was crazy! I always have been afraid that God would ask me to give up music, mainly singing, but what if that was gone from my life? I never knew what I would do if that happen. When I stepped away from being a music major... then when I wasn't able to ever go back... and now I'm graduating... with not-a-music-major! It's been a struggle! For me this tattoo is not just about me being a cellist or being a musician, but about that gift being a privilege that God gave me! Music is part of me and its all for the glory of God!

That little bit of Hell I'm trying to change...

I have taken many steps this year to try to change my life. I have failed many times and not felt any better about myself. I have covered up a lot of heart ache and cried over really stupid things.. But I have tried to change. So as this year is coming to an end... I am truly trying to put all that I have learned into action.

I Will BE.... OK

I will be ok! When crazy things happen in my life that is what I always say.. I will be ok! But rarely am I actually ok with what is happening to me!! What am I supposed to do.... sit in a corner and cry... even if I want to and probably could! No actually I don't know if I could... I find myself crying a lot less these days.... there gets to be a point in life that you are just so beat and or sick of being beaten on that you stop crying! At this moment I don't have time to cry... or even to contemplate what I could do to really help... I just have to keep going! One day at a time!!!! I have to get things done! I have to wake up and stay awake(that's harder than it sounds)! I have to clean my house! I have to do my homework! I have to go to rehearsals...and memorize all that stuff!!! Dance steps, lines, blocking... other people's dance steps, blocking....lyrics, lines! Oh and more dance steps!! I have to get to a point that a plant will stay alive in  my room again! I have to turn in a paper on time... at least once this semester! I have to remember why i'm in Colorado! I have to gracefully deal with the people in my life that I love and or think that I love! I HAVE to BE!!! I have to live! And at this point the only way I'm going to do that is to go DAY BY DAY!!!!